Like everyone else, I was fascinated by the eclipse that occurred last Monday. Unable to get a good view here at home, I searched the internet for live coverage of the event.
Unsurprisingly, I found numerous sites featuring crowds of excited viewers counting down the seconds to totality. Then I joined in as they cheered, gasped, and even cried in the strange darkness that enveloped a large swath of the nation.
It wasn’t until later that evening while again searching for photos and commentary on the eclipse that I stumbled upon this headline: “Biden surges in polls after convincing terrified voters he caused eclipse.”
I was stunned, of course, and hurriedly read the entire article.
The writer stated that Biden’s poll numbers sky-rocketed after he made this public proclamation: “I am sure you will make the wise choice to join me, the immense and all-powerful Mover of the Sun and Moon, in my reelection campaign,” said Biden.
Could this be true? Is it possible that Biden has fooled us all along, that somehow we missed this dark, sinister side of the man?
Yet, upon reflection, it dawned on me that there had been warning signs about Biden which, separately, appeared benign. But once one connects the dots, an ominous figure emerges.
First, there is Biden’s alter ego, “Dark Brandon,” which features beaming red laser eyes with a threatening glare.
Then there is a picture of Biden on X with bolts of lightning charging through his body and the caption, “The Deep State told Biden he could not withstand The Storm.
Biden replied, ‘I am the Storm.’”
Plus, according to Wookieepedia, there was a character named Darth Brandon, “… a human male Jedi Padawan who defected to the Sith Empire during the Jedi Civil War.”
Is there a connection between all this? Possibly, when one considers what happened on Monday.
Today, we have scientific explanations for the occurrence of an eclipse. But many Americans lost faith in science when a former president was able to control a hurricane with a Sharpie, stop a pandemic with household cleaners, and limit climate change with a prophesy (“It will start getting cooler, just you watch.”)
That is why it is perfectly feasible for people to believe that a president can control the moon and the sun by waving his arms and repeating an ancient chant.
The Chinese once believed that a dragon devoured the sun. Hindus taught that a decapitated head blocked the sun. And, for an ancient belief most relevant in today’s political climate, an African legend held that human anger and fighting spread to the Sun and the Moon, who began to fight with each other and caused an eclipse.
Speaking of politics, what possible political motive could Biden have in mind for causing an eclipse other than scaring voters into supporting him in November?
Biden, knowing that Trump was going to watch the entire eclipse develop while not wearing any protective glasses, perhaps planned to create mental
confusion in Trump, resulting in uncontrollable babbling.
This caused Trump to say things like, “Nobody [can] explain to me how allowing millions of people from places unknown, from countries unknown, who don’t speak languages — we have languages coming into our country, we have nobody that even speaks those languages. They are truly foreign languages. Nobody speaks them.”
You see, right there, that’s the way one speaks who is a victim of some sort of voodoo or demonic possession, like the young girl in The Exorcist. It’s plausible to anticipate Trump’s head doing a 360 at any moment when he talks like that.
Also, how else does one explain the fact that Trump consistently says he is running for president against Barack Obama other than that it is Dark Brandon conjuring a hex on Trump?
And what better way for Biden to create further financial damage to Trump than to cast a giant shadow over Mar-a-Lago, forcing sunbathers at the poolside to head home. Or causing golfers on Trump’s
courses to demand a refund due to lost balls in the darkness?
On the flip side, an eclipse caused by Biden could be a political windfall for Republicans. After wasting time and tax dollars on a fruitless search for a reason, ANY reason, to impeach Biden, now an impeachable offense has dropped right into their laps.
If ‘misdemeanor’ literally means “bad behavior toward others,” well, causing an eclipse rates as bad behavior, I’d say. It certainly has much more potential for impeachment success than Hunter Biden’s mythical ‘laptop from hell.’
Finally, it is ironic that Trump’s online reaction to the eclipse indicates that he has no idea that Biden is behind it. Trump’s posting on X is a video of his head, not the moon, blocking the sun.
Is Trump implying that he will bring darkness down upon the U.S. in 2024?
And if Biden can create an eclipse, does that forebode doom and gloom for… wait, what’s that? The Biden article about the eclipse was on The Onion, a satirical website.
Okay, never mind.
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