As a Millennial, it’s maddening to hear the most monumental achievement of this generation, thus far, is killing things. From casual dining chains to napkins to top sheets, the list of things Millennials are killing seems to grow larger every week. We will also murder a piece or two of avocado toast faster than you can say, “I can’t even.”

However, one thing this generation has been accused of killing that is wholly inaccurate is the notion that Millennials ruined marriage.

Many have said that Millennials are ruining marriage for several reasons, which include waiting much longer to propose while living with their Baby Boomer parents, popping out babies before popping the question and a decreased interest in purchasing diamonds or spending astronomical amounts of money on big formal wedding receptions.

The National Center for Family and Marriage Research at Bowling Green State University in Ohio set out to compare 25- to 34-year-olds in 1980 — Baby Boomers — with the same age group today — Millennials. The center found that in 1980, two-thirds of 25- to 34-year-olds were already married. One in eight had already been married and divorced. In 2015, just two in five Millennials were married and only 7 percent had been divorced.

Further, the center found that the chance Americans in their late 20s and early 30s live with parents or grandparents has more than doubled. In 1980, just 9 percent of 25- to 34-year-olds were doing so. In 2015, 22 percent lived with parents or grandparents.

When it comes to diamonds, prices of the precious gem may slump as much as 10 percent this year as it loses appeal with younger consumers and faces challenges from synthetic alternatives, according to Bloomberg News.

The numbers are out — the median age at first marriage in the U.S. is now 27 for women and 29 for men — up from 20 for women and 23 for men in 1960.

Furthermore, marriage rates have been in consistent decline since the 1980s.

How is it that Millennials, the first of whom were arguably born in the 1980s, are responsible for the steady decrease in marriage rates for decades? Sorry not sorry, but I’m not buying it.

Millennials are waiting to get married, but that’s not their fault. An evolving American economic system holds more of the blame. In the 1980s or any era before that, was it common that one or both romantic partners were saddled with tens of thousands of dollars worth of student loan debt?

Life for Americans has changed from a time that involved romantic partners tying the knot and having enough money to then buy a home and raise children. If Millennials can’t afford to pay for their education, how can they be expected to pay for a wedding, put their daughter in gymnastics or even finance a mortgage every month? It’s not that Millennials don’t want to get married, it’s that they are deathly afraid the social and societal pressures that come with marriage will severely stress the most important metric of their romantic relationship — that is love of course.

The only metric that marriage should be graded upon is love. And while the definition of love is different for every person, the challenges that come with love are distinct.

My definition of love first starts with learning how to communicate with your partner. Every other aspect of a loving and committed relationship stems from the ability to understand what your partner is saying or what it means when they aren’t saying anything.

Once you learn to speak to each other and to listen effectively, then you can begin to learn how a person will react when certain things are said or when they expect you to say something that you don’t. Understanding these reactions will then allow you to test boundaries, which you undeniably will do and your partner will likely do to you, too.

It’s all about building trust so that you can experience the trials, triumphs and tribulations that are a natural part of life — from the death of a close family member to the birth of your children.

Marriage shouldn’t be coerced by societal standards or expectations. It shouldn’t have the potential to devolve into a contract with the terms being half or more of your belongings as the wager that you and your partner will live happily ever after forever. Why is the American concept of marriage convoluted with tax incentives, insurance discounts and inheritance benefits?

Marriage should be about one thing and one thing only.

Love.

As a millennial, I still appreciate the sanctity of marriage, the real true value of saying “I do” solely because the person staring back at you is your partner in crime through hell or high water.

So as a testament to my rhetoric, as a man who believes in action or as a millennial might say, “Don’t talk about it, be about it.”

Jaclyn Michelle Figg, will you marry me?

Shelbie Harris is a reporter for the Idaho State Journal.