I recently read that knowing yourself better is the beginning of knowing others better. Indeed much of the first half of our lives is spent developing ourselves and trying to figure out who we are.

Of course, a mirror is a prime source of our self-perception. Literally, as we look at ourselves reflected in a mirror, we gain a sense of how others perceive us and a look at how we might actually be. We can see our height, width, hair and skin and any apparent anomalies from the way other people generally appear. So we can acquire a lot of information from the mirror.

But does that reflection of our external appearance give an accurate depiction of who we really are? Does external appearance depict our personality, our character traits, our mental acuity or creativity? Does it reveal anything about the image of God residing inside those of us who are Christians?

And what if the mirror is flawed, like those distorted mirrors at the carnival? Those mirrors make you look distorted, taller and skinnier than you really are or laughably short and wide. We can also be distorted by an “audio mirror.” This happens a lot in childhood and adolescence when we think that the most important and accurate evaluation of who we are comes from the voices of our peers. Peer pressure is not just something that occurs to young people. Adults experience peer pressure too, especially in the families and the workplace. It is human nature that if we desire to be included in a certain group, we feel pressured by what we feel the people in that group think about us.

But what other people say about you regarding the latest fad or popular viewpoint does not qualify as a valid critique of your life. By this time next year, that fad or viewpoint will become old or unpopular, and you can’t use it to give you a stable, constant identity. To build your life on such viewpoints is like committing yourself to the image in a carnival mirror; it just doesn’t reflect reality!

So what mirror is there into which we can look and get a true image of who we are? Where can we see if we are on target, or where we need some work? Is there such a mirror?

Yes, there is! The most reliable mirror into which we can look to get a true image of who we are is Eternal God. When God created us, He said in Genesis 1:27 (NLT): “So God created human beings in His own image. In the image of God He created them; male and female He created them.” So God created us in His image; which is not to say people are gods, but rather that we are created to reflect God’s values. Thus the more we know what God is like, and what He values, the more we can know what values we are to embrace.

Since God is eternal, and totally other in substance than we are, the next best mirror into which to look and evaluate our lives is to look at Jesus. Jesus is the ultimate manifestation of God, and the life that He desires us to live in this human body. Jesus is described in Hebrews 1:3 (NIV84): “The Son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of His being, sustaining all things by His powerful word.” As we look at Jesus as presented in the New Testament, we see the type of human that God wants you and me to be. It has nothing to do with outward appearances like you see reflected in a physical mirror. It is to be a human who lives to serve God, who desires to manifest the fruit produced by God’s Spirit living in the believer’s life. According to Galatians 5:22–23(NLT) our self-evaluation mirror should be used to perceive the following character traits in our lives: “But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.”

James states in James 1:22-25 that we should read the Bible, and let God use it to reveal to us what is good in our lives, what is out of whack and needs to be changed. When we value people (including ourselves) the way Jesus values us, and love them like Christ loves us, we will develop a life and character that will go with us beyond the grave and into eternal life with God.

Make sure you are using the correct mirror for evaluating your life; it makes all the difference in the world … and beyond!

Award-winning columnist Dr. Ed Jordan is pastor of Gwynn’s Island Baptist Church, Gwynn, VA. He can be reached at szent.edward@gmail.com.