I remember a time when I was walking down by the Snake River as a young kid, and I made the decision to walk across a skinny log to try and cross some water. The log was not very sturdy and was quite a way up in the air from the large rocky edge close to the river. I began to cross the log when just a few feet out I slipped, fell and hit my shin at an angle on the large sharp rock below. With that fall, a man who was fishing just above where I had fallen stated, “I heard something crack, you should probably get that checked out.” Sure enough, my leg had been badly injured.

I look back at that incident and at times I think to myself, “Why did I do that?” and sometimes, “I wish I wouldn’t have done that.” Most every time I stand on a ledge with large rocks below, the memory of that incident comes back to my mind, and I may even experience the thought “Boy, was I stupid.” This is the power of hindsight, and sometimes this can lead us to some pretty unhealthy thinking.

The truth is, many of us experience hindsight in a way that can create feelings of self-doubt, poor self-esteem, guilt and a bunch of other uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. There is a reason why our hindsight can put us in this position and part of that is our brain’s wonderful ability to learn. Sure, it is easy for me to look back and judge myself for decisions I have made in the past, especially in my youth and this is because I know more now than I did back then, and my brain is much more developed. Trying to think about ways to change what has happened in the past is illogical because we do not own a time machine and we cannot set expectations for the past. Our brain will focus on these types of events and hold on to them to help keep us safe and try to prevent us from making the same mistakes in the future. However, this often results in our thoughts becoming very critical which can lead to poor self-esteem, anxiety and depression.

So, what do we do when these kinds of things pop up? We can start by recognizing that your brain is trying to do its job to keep you safe. Also, we can acknowledge that we are not in the same space and time as we were when we made those choices or had those things happen to us. We can also allow ourselves to be human and recognize that making mistakes is part of the human condition, a part of growing and learning. So, next time your brain takes you back in time and you start to become critical of yourself, recognize that this is normal, thank your brain for doing its job and try to focus your energy on things you can do in the present that move you in a direction towards what is important to you now.

If you or someone you know is experiencing depression and or anxiety related to this issue that interferes with their ability to engage in normal day to day activities, seeing a primary care physician and or a mental health professional in your area is recommended and a way to help address and explore further options to address these concerns.

Daniel Park with Health West Inc. is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), native to Idaho, and has worked in mental health for over 14 years. He got his bachelor’s and master’s degrees at Boise State University.