POCATELLO — In the middle of the night Sunday, friends of Maddie Beard turned the large rock in front of Pocatello High School into a white memorial to the lesbian student who took her own life on Feb. 18.
They didn’t wait for permission from school officials and proclaimed on a video now posted on YouTube that their love and respect for their friend, who was a junior varsity basketball player, made it imperative to commemorate Maddie’s contribution to the school and to honor her family.
“R.I.P. We miss you Maddie Beard. Turbo,” was painted with black on the white rock.
“Turbo” was the 15-year-old’s nickname — earned while she was playing little league basketball in Idaho Falls.
“A coach in Idaho Falls noticed her aggressive play and said, ‘Maddie, this is not a contact sport. You need to ease up, Turbo,’” said Maddie’s mother, Carmen Stanger. “The name stuck.”
Stanger said the nickname fit because her youngest daughter was always going at things full steam as she participated in volleyball, basketball and softball. Two years ago, Maddie had taken up trapshooting with her stepfather, Joe Hollifield, owner of J&J Auto Body in Pocatello. She excelled at the sport and was hoping to land a college scholarship for trap shooting.
“She was amazing,” Stanger said. “She was very strong spirited and strong willed. She stood up for the underdog all the time.”
Family members gathered Monday at the home of Stanger’s aunt in Chubbuck. All said it was the teen’s unwillingness to back down or shrink into a corner that led to her being the center of hurtful comments and bullying by some male students at Pocatello High. Maddie’s sexual orientation had not been an issue during her ninth-grade year when she excelled in class and made many friends.
“She loved school and had a 3.7 GPA,” Stanger said.
As her 10th-grade year, progressed, the attractive student-athlete became the target of would-be male suitors after she rebuffed their advances. Stanger said her daughter had turned down some boys’ offers to take her on a date, which led to verbal taunting.
“She was open about her beliefs,” Stanger said.
Maddie’s 21-year-old sister, Shelby, expanded on what Maddie believed, as the family discussed their loss.
“She believed that everyone should be able to be open about who they are without fear of consequences or persecution,” Shelby said.
Maddie’s 25-year-old sister, Britney, said the fact Maddie’s own family accepted her choices with open arms and love probably made it confusing when Maddie was met with scorn in a school setting.
“They didn’t like the fact she was gay,” Britney said.
Despite the comments at school, family members said Maddie remained upbeat and was always looking to the future. She had plans to either become a firefighter or a police officer. Stanger said her daughter was really looking forward to securing a full driver’s license in July when she turned 16. And Maddie’s fan support for the Denver Broncos knew no bounds.
There were other big family events at play the week that Maddie died. Her grandfather was in the hospital at Eastern Idaho Regional Medical Center and her stepfather was getting ready to remarry. Stanger said Maddie was extremely close to her stepfather and was looking forward to attending the wedding.
On the day she died, Stanger said she had talked to her daughter earlier that day. Maddie had not shared any personal crisis.
“When I got home, I found her,” Stanger said. She said the discovery was like “a bad dream.”
Stanger found herself unable to remain in the family home where her daughter died and has been staying with an aunt.
Now the family is trying to determine what triggered the teenager’s suicide. They said they knew about the taunting and comments about Maddie’s sexual orientation, but the girl had always handled the pressure well.
Stanger and her two older daughters said they do know that Maddie didn’t trust school officials or counselors enough to discuss any concerns with them.
“She didn’t trust any of them,” Shelby said.
Stanger said some of that mistrust stemmed from an incident at Pocatello High School that happened in December involving some senior girls and the use of a vapor cigarette in the locker room. During an investigation by the school administration, Maddie’s name somehow became involved, according to her mother.
Stanger said initially the school officials were accusatory, but later apologized after their investigation cleared Maddie of any involvement or wrong-doing. But the grieving mother said the fact her daughter had been accused and belittled in front of her peers had left a mark.
Stanger said she hopes her daughter’s death will spark some action by administration, staff and students at Pocatello High School. She said her daughter shared how often teachers or administrators would ignore bullying conduct among students — especially when it came to sexual orientation.
Maddie often came to the aid of those being bullied, according to her mother.
“There was always someone she was sticking up for,” Stanger said.
The family held a private funeral ceremony for Maddie at the Manning-Wheatley Funeral Chapel last Friday. They are planning a larger public celebration of the teen’s life on March 15.
Sunday night, the students that Maddie had touched stood up for her in their own public demonstration. In the video of the rock painting project, a male student explains that other students and even teachers broke down in tears when the news of Maddie’s death spread throughout the school. Friends used markers to print the name “Maddie” on their forearms.
“We wanted to show the world how much we miss her,” the voice on the video says.
Stanger said the entire family appreciates what those students did when they decorated the rock and she hopes it remains in place for a while, even though no school permission was given.
As the video narrator says, “If you knew Maddie, she would have done the exact same thing.”
(17) comments
We will be in all schools in Idaho, we are making a stand now to stop "bulling". I am doing my best to make this happen. Needing everyone's help to support and spread the word. Stay strong and help everyone in need, pass by no one person who needs your help. My prayers are with this young beautiful girls family and friends.
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Krossing Out Bullying
Are they SURE it was a suicide and not someone making it look like one?? Three reasons- She had the confidence to stand up to others and herself, But mainly everyone talks about how positive she was and there are so many future plans that were discussed. These are the OPPOSITE of someone who is suicidal so honestly, it's gotta make you wonder if perhaps someone else was at play..:/
Are you suggesting that since bulling has been around for a very long time that we should just accept it and that the schools accept it as well? I am in my 50's, back in my day if you were a caught being a bully in school you paid a price. And trust me, when principles had the power to punish you, you knew you were punished. Bulling has never been tolerated but in today's world it is being overlooked in the schools due to parents such as yourself. I bet you are a parent, I also bet you are a parent that would sue a district if they punished your child for being a bully. I also bet you are a parent who allow his own child to be a bully. And there is the problem!
She was a pretty girl that obviously had a lot to offer people, which is a big loss to all who knew her and loved her. With that being said, does anyone have any tangible proof as to why she did commit the act? All I see and hear are accusations. You can never really get to the core, as the only true witness is gone. And people need to deal with reality. Bullying is a fact of life, and has been forever. Just one of life's many obstacles to overcome. For you people to put this on the leadership and/or teachers, administration, is very small-minded as they are the easy target when something goes wrong. Parents need to help their kids learn some mental toughness, as the world is a cruel place, in many realms.
As the father of a child that had been bullied. A child that had been moved to take possible violent action against his classmates, I can understand teh frustration of bullying. Society tries to define what bullying is, and what it looks like. But the truth of the matter is we need to go back to "what's right is right and what's wrong is wrong". Bethepowerofone.net was designed to teach coping skills, and life skills to parents, teachers, administrators, and students in order to change the culture of schools, to make them safer for our children.
This is needless in our society, and we will work to defeat this issue so that another family doesn't need to suffer needlessly.
Kids bully anyone that isn' t just like them. As everything else they learn this behavior at home from their parents. In the last 20 years manners have gone out the window. Parents can start to attack bullying at home by making courtesy and kindness a value to be respected. Believe me, they do not teach this in school!
“When you hold people up for ridicule, you have to take responsibility when other people act on it. Stop Bullying!
So sad that this happened! Bullying is terrible ! See this short but powerful whiteboard animation! Howto Beat a Bully without using your fists! http://youtu.be/9SvK5s-bZ3k
Simple Citizen-
I understand what you're saying. It's along the lines of the Werther Effect? A good example might be the Bridgend suicides. I don't feel your comment was heartless, but rather one of compassion and concern.
As a father of a girl her age this sickens me, why wasn't the bullying stopped at the school,, we are all human with the failings that come with it, aren't we commanded to treat each other decently? No matter what your background is, or re, or sexual preference, we should love one another......this poor girls death is another blackmark on our intollerant society...shame on the kids that were participating in the bullying, shame on the teachers, counslers, administration who were oblivious to it....an finally to her family so sorry for your loss....
This is heartbreaking, My son and daughter went to Pocatello for a short period of time; that was 30 years ago, my son was bullied because he was so tall and didn't want to play basket ball and the coach at that time pretty much started it and the counselors didn't care. Apparently the quality of counselors hasn't improved; The School, the Counselors and teachers there should feel very ashamed that they did nothing to stop the bullying.
My heart goes out to the mother, there is no pain greater than losing your child. To have your child take their own life..the pain quadruples because you always wonder... and nothing ever gives you an answer.
Thank you to the students who acted more compassionately and mature than many adults in this community. And thank you to this family for having the courage to speak out about their daughter's tribulations. It's time for Pocatello, and all of Idaho to put away their biggotry. Too many lives have been lost to this.
I would like to see the students March to the front steps of the district and demand that the Administration start proving that they are anti-bully. All students need to understand that bulling can happen to any student at any time and for any reason and until this district does more than talk a good battle it will not go away.
Simple Citizen thank you for sharing your thoughts. It is certainly not something I would have ever thought of. I do NOT want to see more teens commit suicide. If they could only realize that the pain their family and friends feel is forever.......
More education on how to treat your peers is needed for teens of all genders.
While I completely understand the sentiment and the intent, it would likely be best if they repainted the rock again.
I see suicidal teenagers every day. I have had people very close to me commit suicide, and I listen to LGBT kids talk about their bullying and horrific abuse almost every week.
One of the things that we know without question that INCREASES teenage suicide - is memorials to those who committed suicide before them.
We need to fight prejudice and hate and remember with love those who passed - but now every kid in Pocatello who feels picked on, hated, different, and has ever considered suicide - now sees how they can be appreciated, remembered, memorialized.
I debated not posting this comment because I know it might appear heartless, and because why she committed suicide - nevertheless - when there are public memorials to suicide, it almost always results in more suicides.
Here is a great summary of what helps a community heal, and what can make things worse:
https://www.maine.gov/suicide/media/reporting.htm
This is exactly why Pocatello needs a nondiscrimination ordinance that protects all its citizens, children too. The high school should implement those measures right now.
This beautiful girl died because of a lack of acceptance from her peers. What about feeling included by her local community or her state? The concept of equality is an absolute necessity in raising valuable members of our society. Maddie died because she felt inadequate as a lesbian member of society? That is morally wrong. She had a right to be herself without judgement.
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