October is Pastor Appreciation month, and it’s a great opportunity to have an important conversation about pastors and mental health. I worked in pastoral roles on the staff of various churches for 20 years. The last five of which I was lead pastor of a new church. On and off, for 20 years I had highs and lows, and at different times had healthier balance in my life than others. I could “talk a good talk” about self care, but ultimately no matter how convincing a pastor can speak about how to keep life in healthy balance, guiding a congregation will push one to the limits. I approached burnout numerous times over the years, pulling back just in time to recover before lunging back into the ring. But ultimately the line I walked proved too tenuous. I reached a point in which I was overspent in every way, and I suffered real burnout.

While the majority of the mental health articles I write encourage faith and spirituality, I do not typically write from a strictly spiritual standpoint in order to appeal to a broad range of audiences with various perspectives. I realize this article is different, and I ask that readers who are not inclined to spiritual topics hang in there. This is personal for me and really does have broad application to many “helping professions.”

Even in what appears to be failure, God is kindling an artful redemption. God wastes nothing of our experiences, and this becomes all the more clear as we live and pay attention. After pulling away for healing, I began a job as a school counselor. Only later did I learn that my masters degree and doctorate from seminary did not meet the criteria for such a job, and I would need another masters degree in mental health counseling. Today I am a licensed therapist, happily working as a school counselor and providing faith based private counseling in the evenings. God has brought me full circle. I’ve even been blessed to encourage several pastors as they sought to avoid burnout.

I tell you that part of my story so you know that when I share the following thoughts on pastors and mental health, I have more than a casual knowledge of the subject. I will write pointedly, but kindly. Pastors and congregation members, please consider the following principles.

Pastors need the freedom to clock out and be off duty. I was the pastor not only at church, but at the grocery store, the gas station, and the park. When you see your pastor at a restaurant or around town, it is not a divine opportunity for you to share your prayer requests with them. Send an email or visit the church office. Pastors need that time to be with their family.

Pastors need to show discipline with how available they are through their phones, but they need your help. Refrain from sending your pastor messages after business hours. Don’t expect communication after you’re off work and at home with your family. They are too, and they need that time. They’ll want to respond if you text, so save them from themselves and wait.

Check in with your church’s deacons, elders, or directors to make sure your pastor has designated time off, and that they use it. Pastors need two days a week off just like you get. Sundays are not a day off, they’re the most draining day of the week. Pastors need a minimum of two weeks of paid vacation, and they should be able to use it however and whenever they feel the need. Taking the youth group to camp is not vacation. Every few years a pastor needs an extra week at minimum for spiritual and emotional renewal.

There must be times when you interact with your pastor and do not talk about the church. Pastors desperately need an identity in addition to that of “church leader.” . Talk to them

about their hobby, something your kids have in common, or the weather. If you’re chatting with your pastor at the little league game about church matters, please stop. They need freedom just to be normal people.

There are seasons of church life that traumatize pastors. Trauma informed congregations recognize that when a pastor has ministered to people in crisis, the pastor has to guard against secondary traumatization. Multiple deaths over a short time, intense crisis, or severe conflict are just a few reasons that a pastor may need time off or to see a counselor at the church’s expense.

I could go on, but I need to conclude by addressing possible objections. Someone might suggest that pastors should live by faith and just trust God to take care of them, not needing such accommodations. If this is your opinion, I respectfully point you back to the spiritual drawing board. This is a spiritually immature opinion, and a casual reading of scripture tells us that living by faith and trust means having practical safeguards. Staying alive on the front lines of war doesn’t happen by accident.

Someone might also say that “we love our pastor,” but a busy congregation needs more access to them than this article suggests is possible. A healthy church has many individuals that can provide spiritual care. If you’re in the hospital to have your appendix removed and a deacon or small group leader visits you, the church has been there for you. A view that the church lets you down if the pastor himself doesn’t make the visit is selfish. There’s one pastor, or a handful in larger churches, and they can only do so much. In fact, a small group leader making hospital visits is an indication that a pastor has done an exceptional job of training and empowering leaders.

This Pastor’s Appreciation month is a great time to give them a gift card to their favorite restaurant. But it’s a better time to be intentional about crafting a church culture that protects and prolongs their ability to serve in a healthy way.