BOISE — Christmas came early for seniors at Ashley Manor’s assisted living facility. With Christmas a week out, residents were eagerly embracing the holiday spirit.
On Tuesday, a makeshift winter market had residents looking at trinkets sourced by the manor in exchange for faux holiday cash. Seniors contemplated what decor they wanted to take back to their rooms and which pair of holiday socks were the craziest.
Activity Director Tammy Macklin had already been arms-deep in setup in the weeks prior to their 12 days of Christmas. Macklin has worked at assisted living facilities and senior homes for over 15 years and now serves as the glue keeping it together at the 70-plus-bed living facility located off Maple Grove Road.
The holidays aren’t an easy time for seniors in assisted living or care facilities. Macklin estimated that half of the residents at her location do not have family that visit.
“At this time of the year, it’s hard for some residents, and I hate to say it — they’re just dropped off,” Macklin said. “(Families) are so excited, ‘oh yeah, we’ll come and see you all the time,’ and they just drop them off, and they might just have a small bag of clothes with them and they have nothing else.”
Macklin has worked at Ashley Manor for over three years and spends her time planning activities for residents, aiming to meet needs in five areas: physical, mental, psychological, spiritual and creative. Macklin’s role has her responding to individual needs and keeping an eye on who could have their spirits lifted.
This has made her a jack-of-all trades, learning about different religious customs, leading exercise classes and getting crafty. Earlier this month, Macklin took a resident, who is an amputee, to ride an electric bicycle for their Christmas present.
“We’ll make it happen, pretty much doing whatever they want to do,” Macklin said.
Aging into senior living can be an isolating experience. Janet Miller, program specialist at the Idaho Commission on Aging, used an analogy comparing one’s life to a flower.
“You have all these petals; you have your home, you have your car, you have your job, you have your family. ... Then you are in this nursing center, and just think about those being plucked away,” Miller said.
Important aspects of their life fade away one at a time.
“You no longer can drive, so you no longer have a car. You no longer have your home, maybe your family has all moved away,” Miller said. “So imagine those flower petals being plucked away one at a time, and how alone you would feel in that situation.”
Miller has similarly seen her aging parents struggle to continue pursuing their passion of traveling.
“It’s hard, because (you’re) realizing you’re losing the things that are important to you,” she said.
Miller worked at senior living facilities for eight years before joining the commission. While Miller has sat in her administrative role on the state level for five years, the impact of working with seniors continues to drive her work.
Most residents she worked with did spend the holidays with their families, either leaving the facility to visit or having family come by, but a good portion of residents were left alone. Miller estimated one in five seniors at her previous facilities spent the holidays alone.
“There’s definitely people in there that just don’t have anyone,” Miller said.
While staff do their best to encourage a festive spirit, Miller said they ultimately end up spending the holidays with their own families.
“The people that work at those nursing homes do a phenomenal job, like they go out of their way to make sure those residents that don’t have families feel special,” Miller said. “However, they go home to their own families, and they celebrate with their own families.”
With staff making their best effort, it often takes the community to fill in the gaps.
An initiative Miller has participated in year after year is getting letters from the community, an idea that was sparked during the COVID-19 pandemic.
“The first time we did this was during the pandemic, I had only worked (at that facility) for a few months, and the loneliness was very, very real then,” Miller recalled. “I mean, it is all the time, but at that time, people in nursing homes were being so isolated.”
Working with her 4-H group, volunteers collected and wrote letters for residents, and Miller delivered them.
“They’re just so happy that somebody thought about them,” Miller said about residents’ reactions. “... They’re so excited to get this letter, and they just save it so they can read it over and over again.”
As Macklin pointed to resources around the living facility Tuesday, she listed donation after donation from local businesses and volunteers. A dog park at the back of the facility, for the few residents with pets, was made possible by an Eagle Scout Project, Franz Bakery put up a Christmas tree in the hall and Grocery Outlet donated snacks. Macklin said residents are thankful for the manor’s partners, especially as many of them are on fixed incomes.
At this time of the year, the holidays often have seniors reflecting on what is next, Macklin said.
Rodney Garrison, 59, is in his second year as a resident at Ashley Manor. On Tuesday, he sat in a corner, watching the holiday bazaar.
“You can’t find no one better than Tammy (Macklin),” Garrison said. “Yeah, I don’t know how to put it but, she is the thing that makes this place run.”
Garrison said he’s never been much of a holiday person. Before he moved to a care facility he was usually busy working.
“Don’t have the family anyway,” Garrison said. “It’s kind of — Christmas is what it is.”
Garrison is one of the more active members of the assisted living facility, volunteering his time to running their thrift store.
“Most of us get along,” Garrison said. “It’s just like everywhere else, you got favorites, and you got people you hang with.”
In many ways, Ashley Manor has created a community of its own. Alongside residents, visitors from Life Church perused the holiday market, exchanging hugs once they caught a familiar face. On some mornings, Macklin described a surprisingly full exercise class, with female residents ready for a visit from their handsome instructor. Though, this doesn’t stop loneliness from sneaking in, especially on dark winter days.
“A card here and there really perks them up a lot,” Macklin said.
A more difficult aspect of her job can be caring for residents whose conditions are deteriorating. A few years ago, Macklin recalled a resident who found out he had terminal cancer. His kids hadn’t come to visit in years and Macklin knew he didn’t have much time left.
“I just sent them a letter that says, ‘You might want to come and see your dad,’” Macklin said through tears.
The family made a visit to see him. Despite it being October, the resident wanted to get a Christmas tree, so Macklin did. This is just one of many instances of Macklin delivering a final wish.
“You know, sometimes when a resident may be down, you do what you got to do and then go home,” Macklin said, choking up. “Yeah, you lose them and go into your office and close the door.”
For those interested in reaching out, Miller recommended calling a nearby nursing home or assisted living facility to see who might benefit from getting a letter. The Idaho Commission on Aging is welcoming those who participate to share on social media with #IdahoConnects.
“In a perfect world, even if they had time to visit, that would be ideal,” Miller said. “If they have time to go in and visit with people that are lonely, that would definitely be icing on the cake, but any little effort is really appreciated.”