The Olympics are a unique extravaganza. While the traditional events are the main attraction, this year there are some exciting new events you may have missed on TV. We can thank the Democratic Party and their liberal media for sponsoring such strong teams in these new categories:
The gold metal in this event was shared by the mainstream media (MSM) and the Democratic Party as they ran together in a unique one-lane relay race. Lap after lap the Democrats smoothly passed their baton of talking points over to their running mates in the MSM. It was a wonder to behold the liberal media running with whatever the Democrats handed them, no questions asked. So closely aligned were the two organizations that there were rumors that they were actually one and the same team. Both teams promptly issued strongly worded identical denials.
Proudly wearing the silver metal, the World Health Organization could scarcely stop hugging their partner in propaganda, the Chinese Communist Party. Forget about social distancing between these love birds! Coordinating flawlessly, they were tough, experienced competitors in this event. Even Coach Fauci heaped praises on both teams exclaiming, “Their performance was a real shot in the arm!”
A couple of new competitors pulled off a surprise bronze win. An unlikely pair, the communist Black Lives Matter (BLM) team and the National Education Association (NEA) delivered a spectacular duet of critical race theory (CRT) propaganda. The judges were wowed as the masked BLM-NEA teams delivered their joint CRT message while ignoring the crowds of frustrated parents and looted shopkeepers shouting out their objections. At a press conference following the event, with burly BLM security at his side, a perspiring Olympic spokesman vehemently denied there were any threats of riots should team BLM fail to win.
A favorite of the spectators, this event was packed full of over qualified progressive contestants. As expected, the senior Democratic team made a clean sweep of the event taking gold, silver and bronze.
Gold went to Nancy Pelosi for a truly impressive list of hypocritical accomplishments starting with her unwavering support for unconstrained abortions while claiming to be a Catholic. More recently she showed off her stellar partisan leadership skills by mocking the Trump-era COVID vaccinations and then demanding the same Biden-era inoculations for everyone. And who can forget her mask-less haircut during the California Covid lockdown she championed. Even though Nancy quickly threw her aide under the bus for “setting her up,” the Olympic judges ruled that all the points for hypocrisy were Pelosi’s.
Chuck Schumer won a solid silver by chanting, “Jim Crow”, and pointing his finger at the single use of the filibuster by the Republicans when he used the same rules more than 300 times in 2020. Much to the relief of all who respect the Olympics, Chuck assured everyone that his threats, “You will pay the price!” and ”You won’t know what hit you!”, were not directed at the Olympic judges. Mr. Schumer explained that he was just threatening Supreme Court justices Gorsuch and Kavanaugh in the spirit of the new administration’s standards of civility.
A well deserved bronze went to Mayor Lori Lightfoot. The event judges were impressed to see Ms. Lightfoot defund and denigrate her police force and then demand complete police protection for her home and family. Because she is such a champion of civil rights, Lori’s exclusive, minorities-only interviews scored her additional points in the hypocrisy competition. Clearly, she’s not one to waste her “Me time.”
Like the champion he is and competing despite his advancing dementia, President Joe Biden won the gold going away. During the recent CNN theatrical town hall, Old Joe’s baffling word salad was sprinkled with confusing croutons that would break the jaw of a lesser man. When you can leave your biggest fan, CNN’s Don Lemon, speechless, you know you are the greatest in this event.
Jen Psaki, the White House press secretary, came close to gold a time or two with some preposterous zingers. Highlights of her silver performance include unforgettable babble such as, “Hunter’s art is worth $500,000,” “Of course we censor citizens!” and, my personal favorite, “Freedom of speech is so yesterday.” When asked about her political ambitions she nailed it with her trademark catchphrase, “I’ll circle back to you on that.” No wonder she’s the darling of the Democrats.
A well deserved bronze went to the National Security Agency, (NSA), for their clever reply when challenged about spying on cable news commentator, Tucker Carlson. In a priceless mashup of half-truths the NSA’s non-denial won over the judges who’s secret vote was somehow leaked before it was announced.
The Olympic games will be over soon, but the socialistic, anti-American shame-games the radical Democrats and their allies are playing will continue until a pro-America team stops them. Ignore their propaganda, highlight their hypocrisy and refute their falsehoods. Boldly stand up for the wholesome values and vision of America the Beautiful. That’s how Team USA wins Gold.
Paul Entrikin is a newer resident of Pocatello. He grew up in Baton Rouge and has two degrees from Louisiana State University. Following a tour in Vietnam as an Army officer, he began his career in information technology. The last 35 years of his career were with ExxonMobil at a variety of foreign and domestic locations.